When I was over weight, I rarely felt beautiful, sexy, or really worthy of attention in any way. I was objectified by my body type, stereotypically assumed and felt as though I was not allowed to feel beautiful, as though it was shameful and pointless of me to even try.
Having tried to lose weight countless times as a child and teen, I decided that if I wanted to be successful this time, something would have to change – I needed to do it out of genuine love for myself, not because I hated my body and would only feel worthy if I changed it.
This first photo shoot marked that vow that I made to myself. I was so uncomfortable in front of that camera, even though it was just my sister taking the photos. But I can honestly say that the moment I saw those photos was the most beautiful I had ever felt up to that point in my life. I saw a lot more than my body in them. I saw a promise that I knew I would keep, and it was just the most empowering feeling.
Flash forward about a year and a half- I decided to do an updated shoot. I was down 115 pounds, stretch marks faded, hair thinning, body deflated leaving behind quite a bit of excess skin, but nevertheless, seeing the photos from this shoot brought back that same feeling as the first, except it was also the moment I realized that I had kept that vow I had made. It took a lot of hard work and a fair amount of “faking it till I made it,” but along the way I really did learn to love my body, along with the person inside of it.
